The Study: Mind-full

They're gaining on me now and if I had only one moment to describe how I felt, I’d lie and say, complete.

* * *

The brushed aluminum table stuck to my forehead. I was trying to relax, trying to calm down, but my hands were shackled behind my back and any way I leaned seemed to put a kink in my neck. A Japanese detective spoke sternly to me in slaughtered English. He acted like the cops he saw in American movies. Confrontational, outlandish, annoying. He asked me a question, I didn't answer. He asked me a question, I didn't answer. He asked me a question and I asked him for a cigarette. I didn't smoke, I chose to harm myself in other way (we all need something), but I figured if he got to role-play, I would to. I played the victim, the guy who's too good to answer the questions that would prove his innocence. I crouched low in my chair and it cut off circulation to my wrists. It would have been a sin to break character in the presence of a coward who played a cop so well. I spit on the man's face.  He threw his hot coffee on me. What am I doing here?

* * *

Maki was seated with her feet soaking in the cold water. The restaurants had lit their paper lanterns and Maki put her hood on. I watched her from a distance before I left. Masa and Keoki were sad to see me go. I knew they knew about my dark heart and I was thankful they simply smiled and said good-bye. The flight home was boring; I was ready to leave before I got back.

* * *

I'm not manic. Just leave me alone.